The Official Academy of Ouran Fanfiction
by MightySwordPen
Summary: Badfic has taken over the Ouran High School Host Club fandom and the characters are finally taking matters into their own hands! At OAOF, fanbrats will learn to write good OHSHC fanfiction, even if it kills them.
1. A Visit from the Agents and Twins

**_Title: _**The Official Academy of Ouran Fanfiction  
><em><strong>Summary: <strong>_Badfic has taken over the Ouran High School Host Club fandom and the character are finally taking matters into their own hand! At OAOF, fanbrats will learn to write good OHSHC fanfiction, even if it kills them._  
><em>_**Rating/Warning: **_T/May go up due to swearing, possible violence, and other things..._  
><em>_**Genre:** _Humor/Parody

_**Notes:** _If you wish to enroll for OAOF, the form will be in the story. You may Review or P.M me your enrollment form. Creativity is the key here folks! Try and make them as awesome and weird as you can/and or want. The OFU does not belong to me. Without Miss Cam, none of this would be possible. Um, Ouran belongs to Bisco Hatori. PPC also does not belong to me.

...

Anything in this story that I don't remember to say does not belong to me and you know belongs to someone else, belongs to them I guess.

Oh, and do not take any of this to offense; I am just doing what most stereotypical Ouran HSHC Fangirls/guys act like. *I was one of them once!*

* * *

><p>It was a quiet day at the Host Club. There was no business that day, each member had made sure to tell their customers that before the day ended. The only reason they stayed after was because Kyoya-or as Hikaru and Kaoru liked to call him 'The Shadow King'- got a letter from an odd group that liked to call themselves the PPC.<p>

"Who did you say was coming again, Mommy?" Tamaki Suoh asked from his corner. He was, of course, growing mushrooms and acting depressed after being rejected from a hug by Haruhi, again.

Kyoya fixed his glasses. "Someone by the name of Agent Hellena," he looked at his little black book and nodded. "And another by the name of Agent Mighty Sword. Though, I'm not really sure why these 'Agents' need to see us."

On the other side of the room, eating cake and smiling happily, was Mitsukuni Haninozuka, or as everyone else called him, Hunny. He was accompanied by Takashi Morinozuka, though Mori was an okay nickname for anyone to call him.

"I wonder when they'll get here." Hunny took a fork full of cake and ate it in one bite.

"Make sure to brush your teeth after, Mitsukuni," Mori said, making the tiny 4th year pout.

Haruhi Fujioka, Ouran's only Commoner, decided that it was finally time for her to leave. She couldn't stay for long, saying something along the lines that supermarket by her apartment complex was having a sale that would end in an hour and she had to get to it. You just can't have to many bandages, especially with Tamaki doing whatever Tamaki does.

Just as she got up, the doors to the club opened. Of course, everyones first instinct was to say 'Welcome.'

"I didn't expect that big of a welcoming," a brunette said as she made her way in. A black haired teen followed behind her.

"I'll say. I expected this much though. _It is _Ouran after all." She plucked the rose petal off her shoulder.

"You must be our valued guests." Kyoya smirked. "Welcome, to the Host Club."

* * *

><p>Rylie Sanders sat at her couch, laptop on her lap. She was finishing up her latest Fanfic, <em>Kiss, Kiss, Love Me.<em>

"I can't wait to post this!" She giggled happily. Who wouldn't want to read her story, all of her other ones sure were popular. This one, though, was special. It told the tale of Hizashi Kaede, an American that moves to Japan and goes to Ouran. Though as cliche as it sounds, Hizashi ends up falling in love with almost all of the guys and ends up picking Haruhi, not know he is actually a she. After that, she ends up going after Tamaki and the rest is history.

History includes doing it with Tamaki, having a child with said Prince and becoming filthy rich.

Like that is _so_ not cliche.

Finishing up the first chapter, Rylie clicked the save button, and went to 'New Story.' She lied to reading the guidelines, no one ever read it anyway, and proceeded to pick the Category. _Ouran High School Host Club._ Characters. _Tamaki and Haruhi. _Rating._ T_. Language. _English. _Summary. _Luv storie between my character Hizashi and harhi and tamaki! plz read and review!_

"And Submit Story!" Rylie clicked the button. Her computer froze. She scowled. "What the fuck is wrong with this thing?"

"Ah, ah, ah!" Two voices cooed behind her. "We can't have you do that!"

Turning around, Rylie saw two redheads behind her.

"Y-your Hikaru!" She pointed to the one on the left. "And your Kaoru!" She pointed to the one on the right.

Both looked at each other before laughing. "You couldn't be any wronger," the one on the left gasped. "I'm Kaoru."

"And I'm Hikaru," the right one chuckled.

Rylie pouted. They're so mean!

After a few minutes, the Twins finally managed to stop laughing. "Anyway," Kaoru, or Hikaru, Rylie still couldn't tell the difference, began, "we have a letter to give you."

"A letter?" She asked, slightly confused. "What letter."

"This one," both of the chorused, handing her a letter. Rylie took it and opened it.

_The Official Academy of Ouran Fanfiction_

_Dear Writer,_

_We are please to announce, not really, we're only kidding that we're pleased to announce this, that you have been chosen to attend The Official Academy for Ouran Fanfiction. If you have not guessed by now, the OAOF is geared towards helping you write better fanfiction for the Ouran High School Host Club fandom. If you wish to continue writing fanfiction for Ouran, than passing this University is a MANDATORY. If you fail, you must take the classes again, for another year._

_That is not a good thing._

_OAOF offers a variety of classes from Canon Class to Platonic Love, each taught by the various characters of Ouran. Please, do not do anything to annoy the Staff or Canon Characters, doing so will either get you cursed by Nekozawa or attacked by Mini-Beelzenefs. Do not say we didn't tell you._

_Please, fill out the sheet attached to this if you wish to enroll._

_From,_

_Mighty Sword_

_Course Coordinator_

Rylie looked at the Twins, who shrugged at her. She sighed and took out a pen, writing what she was told to write.

**_STUDENT-_**

**_Name: _**Rylie sanders

**_Gender: _**Female

**_Age:_** 17

**_Species:_** Um..Human?

**_Physical Description: _**I'm around 5'6 with light, brown hair that goes down to my shoulder blades and green eyes.

**_Languages You Speak: _**English

**_Do you have any phobias/allergies/anything we can use against you? _**I'm afraid of thunder and lighting, just like Haruhi!

_**Have you been to an OFU before? **_What does that even mean?

_**Have you ever heard of the PPC? **_Pretty Pony Cup? Is that like, a sport for ponies or something?

**_If yes, what do you know about the PPC? _**...What is this PPC thing? Tell me! Dx

**_CANON/AND YOU (A.K.A CANON/CANON AND YOU)_**

**_On a scale of 1-10, how much do you know about the canon? *1 being absolutely nothing, I just think Host Club's hot. 10 being I know everything in the anime and manga.* _**Um...I think I'm a four? Maybe...

**_How many episodes of Ouran HSHC are there? _**...A lot?

**_Have you seen them all? _**I've seen 12! Is that good?

**_Do you watch the anime, read the manga, or both? _**I hate the manga, so I only watch the anime. The manga is sooooo boring!

**_If both, which do you prefer more? _**ANIME! I hate the manga!

**_Do you read the manga translated or raw? _**HATE

**_Do you watch the anime subbed, dubbed, or raw? _**Dubbed and sometimes subbed. Silly people, I don't know Japanese!

**_Who, our of the entire cast-major or minor-is your favorite? _**Tamaki! :DDDDDDD

**_Do you have a 'Lust Object?'_** My Tama-kun!

**_Which character is your least favorite? _**Nekozawa. He's scary and likes to curse my love!

**_What is your favorite pairing? _**TamakixKyoya

**_Least favorite pairing? _**Twincest. EWWWWWWW! They're brothers! That's nasty!

**_Do you write het? If so, what paring(s)? _**:P Het's to boring.

**_Do you write slash? (Yaoi/Yuri) If so, what pairing(s)? _**TamakixKyoya!

**_What inspired you to write Ouran HSHC fanfiction? _**I read a really good story once about a girl who got into Ouran and fell in love with Hikaru so I decided to write my own!

**_What genres of fanfiction do you usually write? _**Romance! This is Ouran, duh!

**_Have you ever written poetry? _**I tried and got flamed by some people who called themselves 'Agents.'

**_-A 'Song-Fic?' _**Nope

**_-Any other type of fanfiction that is not an actual story?_** ...There are other forms of fanfiction?

**_Have you ever written a Mary-Sue?_** What's a Mary-Sue? They sound nice!

**_-A Gary-Stu? _**They sound nice to! Do you hate them or something?

**_Have you ever written smut? If so, what was the rating? _**OMGEEEE YES! It was rated M for 'MMMMM' sexyyy~

**_RANDOM~_**

**_Do you like the uniforms they wear at Ouran? _**The dresses look really ugly and uncomfortable. I like the boys uniforms.

**_Tamaki or Kyoya? _**Tamaki, duh!

**_What is your impression of the Zuka Club? _**I don't really like them, they're annoying. Oh, and lesbooooos!

**_Would you pick them or the Host Club to entertain you? _**Host Club!

**_Hikaru or Kaoru? _**D: Making me pick? Um...Hikaru

**_Nekozawa: Creeper or misunderstood? _**Ultimate creeper!

**_Is Haruhi cuter dressed as a boy or a girl? _**Boy! :3

**_-What about her father, Ryoji 'Ranka?' _**Ewww, neither!

_By sighing this, I am waiving my rights to sue OAOF if anything should happen to me. Also, by sighing this, I hereby give Kyoya my soul to keep. I will now resign myself for one full year of torture, hatred, and pain, through the Learn Through Pain in order to write good fanfiction. If anything is to happen to me, weather it be to be killed, maimed, or hurt by any of the Staff or other students, I cannot sue, as decreed above._

_Since I am a foolish Fanbrat, I cannot go complaining to Mighty Sword, she will just send me back with no hopes of going home, ever, or unless the year is over and I have passed all my classes and courses. And since we are on the topic of me being a foolish Fanbrat, I am probably not reading all of this just to get to my Lust Object. After I sign this, I am not allowed to go home untill I finish all my courses and have gained my license back._

_Of course, even though this still is not a lot of text and therefor is not really going over my head, I am just to lazy to read all of this. You are still probably unaware that you are handing over your soul to the 'Shadow King' and really don't care. Your being taught by your lust object. That's probably all you care about._

_From, the Course Coordinator,_

_Mighty Sword._

_Sign Here X** Rylie Sanders**_

Like any other easily distracted, hormonal teenager, Rylie just skimmed the bottom text before finding the dotted line and scribbling her name on it without a second thought.

"Am I done now?" she asked, rubbing her eyes tiredly. Why was she so tired all of a sudden? One of the twins, she didn't care to bother which one this time, took the letter from her while the other guided her to her bed.

"Sleep, you'll need it," he smiled. Rylie sighed and snuggled into her blankets.

And he was right. For the next year, the poor girl wouldn't get much sleep at all.


	2. Fun With Magic

**_Notes: I am so sorry for not updating this! School has been a pain and so has my personal life. Let's just say my friends are all insane..._**

_**I'm reposting this chapter because I am in desperate need of characters. Please, use the form in the first chapter and send me one!**_

The limit of characters you can send in is two. I should have explained that in the first chapter's notes. Oh, well. I'm too lazy to go back and type that in. That and I forgot to put on the form what your characters one item is. If you could please, PM me with your characters name and their one item, that would be awesome.

Find any mistakes (in this chapter or in and Ouran Fanfiction) and I can make them into Mini-Beelzenefs ;)

And the word 'snanaha' is another word for the 'down there area' in girls.

* * *

><p>"We got the forms done for you, Second Boss."<p>

Mighty Sword looked up from her paperwork to see the Hitachiin Twins standing in front of her, both holding a huge pile of paper. The black haired Agent was the Course Coordinator of the new Academy. "Great. Put them over there." She pointed lazily to a table on the other side of the room with her pen. "Did you have any problems with them?"

"Yeah, only one." Hikaru said, folding his arms over his chest. Kaoru mimicked him.

"And that would be?" The young Coordinator raised an eyebrow, slightly intrigued.

"There are too many Twincest fangirls." Both of them put it bluntly.

Mighty sighed. "Is that it? You two know there is nothing I can do about pairings at this moment. For now, you'll just have to grin and bear it and use the Mini-Beelzenefs when they attack."

"Fine," Kaoru began as the two headed towards the door, "but if that doesn't work we're going with our own plans to take care of them."

"Alright, alright. Now get out of here." She waved them off. "I need to fix all of the schedules before the Opening Orientation because a certain cute blonde decided to get frosting all over them."

* * *

><p>When Rylie woke up, she expected to be in the arms of her precious Tamaki; nice and warm.<p>

Instead, she found herself in a fountain in the front of the school; wet and cold.

"The hell?" Rylie muttered as she rung out her clothes. Standing a few feet beside her was another girl with wings. She was pulling on her short, green dress.

"Stupid dress. I do not appreciate my snanaha being shown to the world!" The girl complained. Suddenly, her wings began to flutter as she was lifted in the air. "Holy shit!"

Rylie watched in amazement. Was she really flying?

"Hey Diana, how's the weather up there? I can see up your dress~"

There was a laugh and the girl shrieked, pulling down on her dress to hide herself. "Xavier, you ass! What the hell is wrong with you? What are you doing here? Why are you green?"

Standing underneath Diana was a boy with green skin and orange hair. "I should ask you the same thing, sis! You've got wings growing out of your back!"

Diana sneered. Reached into a small bag she had around her waist, she took out a wand and waved it at her brother. Gold dust shot out of the end and fell around him and soon, he was lifted into the air.

Xavier growled. "Get me down, now!"

"Never."

"Diana!" He shouted, his arms flailing as he began to turn upside-down. "Put me the fuck down, now!"

The two continued to bicker in midair; Xavier began speaking in gibberish when Diana accidently waved her wand making her brother fly higher.

"Will you two shut up already?"

Rylie turned to see a girl with blue skin behind her, holding her head. She silently wondered if she was on a different planet or something.

"Oi! Blue chick! Why don't you shut your mouth!" Xavier was now fully upside-down. He wasn't flailing like last time, but was trying to keep his shirt from exposing his stomach.

Diana hit him with her wand. "Shut up idiot! And you," she pointed the now dented wand at the blue girl. "You got a headache or something?"

Blue girl smiled meekly. "You could say that. There are a ton of voices in my head and it's starting to give me a migraine."

"Schizophrenic?"

"No. I put alien from Pluto on my form. I didn't think that they'd take it seriously. And let me guess, you put down something stupid too?"

Diana sighed. "I said something about a fairy and the rest is history."

"You're an alien?" Xavier asked, shocked. "You look nothing like me!"

She rolled her eyes. "I'm an alien from _Pluto_."

"Oh."

"Hey, what about her?" Diana flicked her wand at Rylie. Gold dust shot out again and this time, Rylie was in the air. The brunette glared at the fairy, who gave her a sheepish, "Oops. Sorry."

"'Her' has a name, and it's Rylie. Rylie Sanders," she said, flapping her arms wildly. She looked like an idiot, but not as much as Xavier did. He was attempting to keep the various objects he had in his pockets after the loose change he had fell out and hit random people walking by.

"You three! Up in the sky!"

Looking down, all three teens saw a red head with a little doll on his shoulder glaring at them. They instantly froze at his gaze. "Orientation begins in five minutes! I'd hurry up and get there if I were you!"

And with that he left. Blue girl gave them a sympathetic look before following behind the red head, leaving the three to wonder how in the world they were going to get down.

It took the fairy a few minutes before realizing she could just fly down, but the other two were stuck until she could figure out a way to get the magic undone.

* * *

><p>"Attention fan-I mean students! Attention! I SAID ATTENTION!" Mighty growled at the crowed of fan-brats in front of her. When the last of them finally got the hint to be quiet, she smiled sweetly. "Thank you. Now, if no one told you yet, then let me be the first to welcome you to The Official Academy for Ouran Fanfiction. And if you don't know why you're here, well..." There was a gleam in here eye as she smirked. "I think you'll learn that soon enough."<p>

"I did it!"

Everyone in the Auditorium turned around as the double doors that lead outside slammed open. Diana walked in, smiling proudly. "I told you I'd find out a way to get you guys down!"

Xavier followed behind his sister and Rylie behind him. Both were shaking and wet.

"We said, 'Get us down!' not 'Drown us!'" Xavier said angrily, moving a piece of soaking wet hair from his face.

Diana pouted. "At least I got you two down! Be lucky I figured out a way else I would have left you guys up there!"

"This is the second time I've been wet today!" Rylie complained. Xavier snickered at her comment. "Don't start with me, Alien boy."

Diana guided them over to three empty seat in the back, not one of them noticing he looks they were getting from the others.

Mighty watched silently as the late arrivals took their places in the back. "It seems we have some late arrivals. You three get off easy this time, but if your ever late to anything again, it's off to the Black Magic Abyss with you!"

A hand shot up. "What's the Black Magic Abyss?"

"Excellent question!" The Course Coordinator clapped her hands together and turned to face the staff behind her. "I'll leave that one to you, Nekozawa."

The dark teen smiled. A few student's cringed. "Of course."

Standing, Nekozawa made his way to the podium. Might moved out of the way, nodding. Everyone who had decided to take their seats at the front were now regretting it.

"The Black Magic Abyss is a huge abyss that surrounds the Staff Section. If anyone who is not a member of the Staff attempts to enter will be sucked down into the abyss and will be forced to work and create the bodies for the long list of Mini-Beelzenefs that keep coming in."

When he finished, Nekozawa bowed his head and went back to his seat. Mighty took back her spot at the podium and looked at the girl who asked the question. "Does that answer your question?"

Brigid Gale - a girl who was part witch, part ninja, and part human - nodded slowly before sinking in her seat.

"So if that's it then. I have nothing more to say and if any of you have questions, feel free to stop me before I leave."

Just as she began to leave, the Coordinator's eye lit up and she quickly took her spot again. "And before I forget, we only have a two rules here at OAOF. Rule one: there is to be no glomping of the Staff, that includes me or my fellow Agent, Hellena. Rule Two: Sneaking into the Staff Section is prohibited. Those who attempt will be sucked into the BMA like explained by the Black Magic expert himself."

In the back, Xavier and Diana were, yet again, arguing. What it was about, no one knew. Rylie tried to hide her face as Kyoya glared at them. Even from his spot on the stage, he could still see the three.

"Don't make me use my wand again!"

"Oh, like you even know how to use that thing!"

"Hey, I got you down! How many more times do I have to say it?"

Rylie shrunk in her seat. "Can you two please be quiet?" She whispered. The two stopped to shot the brunette a glare before continuing with their fight.

Then, everything went silent. Rylie was slightly surprised that the two suddenly stopped their bickering, but when she turned to look at the two, all she saw were to small wooden dolls that looked like cats.

"Alright, Kyoya has the student schedules and Hunny and Mori have everyones dorm room numbers. Boys got to Mori and girls to Hunny," Mighty said, pointing to the three Hosts. "You may come up and get them now."

And in a rush, everyone attacked the stage. Rylie on the other hand, just sat in her seat, confused and afraid of what happened to the siblings.

Mighty stifled a giggle as she exited the Auditorium with Tamaki and Haruhi in tow; the blonde haired Host crying about Haruhi not loving him.

"Welcome to hell," she smiled.


End file.
